The Constitutional Monarchy of United Reichs of Reitzmag is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by King George with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, deadly medical pandemics, and soft-spoken computers. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 9.995 billion Reitzmen are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hampton City. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Reitzmic economy, worth a remarkable 4,270 trillion Pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 427,259 Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It's a comma comma comma comma comma rebellion, mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest-growing field, escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky, and the new Really Big Telescope has been praised for presenting pictures of bright dots in unprecedented detail. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. United Reichs of Reitzmag's national animal is the Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Catholicism.

United Reichs of Reitzmag is ranked 288,755^th in the world and 47^th in European Union for Most Primitive, scoring -556.56 on the Scary Big Number Scale.