The Holy Incorruptible Tsardom of TURTLESHROOM II is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Tsars Outtacountry and Pallor and Wip with an even hand, and remarkable for its teetotalling pirates, ban on automobiles, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 25.677 billion TurtleShroomers are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jonesboro. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 82.6%.

The frighteningly efficient TurtleShroomian economy, worth an astonishing 17,651 trillion Scrips a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. Average income is a breathtaking 687,425 Scrips, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,759,324 per year while the poor average 114,760, a ratio of 24.0 to 1.

Gossip magazines have been replaced by mask catalogs, the deaf are perplexed when the weather report tells them that the wind will be "bringing some rain along the Nazi ghosts", senior professors are allowed to skip the wait at soup kitchens, and fireworks and other big bangs are forbidden during the newest public holiday. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. TURTLESHROOM II's national animal is the Nangnang, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

TURTLESHROOM II is ranked 81^st in the world and 1^st in Valkia for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 19,144.72 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.