The Holy Lucky Green Empire of Turtler is a massive, genial nation, ruled by 🐢King Turtler VI 🐢 with an even hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, parental licensing program, and prohibition of alcohol. The compassionate, devout population of 1.107 billion citizens of Turtler have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of 🐢 Turtles 🐢. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 30.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Turtlerian economy, worth 132 trillion TAKEDOWN baseballs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 120,054 TAKEDOWN baseballs, with the richest citizens earning 6.4 times as much as the poorest.

It turns out that trees grow on TAKEDOWN baseballs, scrapyards are filled with 🐢King Turtler VI 🐢's face, the ban on cars has been repealed, and the latest guided missile cruiser "Ship-1642" has received precisely zero column inches in the press. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Turtler's national animal is the Leatherback sea turtle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is 🐢 ☮️ Turtle Language ☮️ 🐢.

Turtler is ranked 85,990^th in the world and 1^st in You Grabia for Largest Governments, scoring 18.17 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.