The Federal Republic of TSLA is a mammoth, safe nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, ubiquitous missile silos, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 6.998 billion TSLAians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, pro-business, outspoken government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Law & Order, Welfare, and Education are also considered important, while Spirituality and Social Policy receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.1%.

The very strong TSLAian economy, worth 405 trillion TSLA Shareses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Automobile Manufacturing, and Soda Sales. Average income is 57,952 TSLA Shareses, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 478,199 per year while the poor average 1,448, a ratio of 330 to 1.

The new foreign policy is "why bother invading neighbours when they can be bought wholesale?", edutainment video games are taking TSLA's students to the next level, the government funds private schools for intellectually gifted children, and five-year-olds chanting "Little Miss Muffet" are accused of bullying arachnophobes. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. TSLA's national animal is the unicorn, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

TSLA is ranked 264,872^nd in the world and 21^st in NYSE for Highest Food Quality, scoring 8.65 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.