The Protectorate of Tsifyrettop is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Chaplain Franciszek Nakano with a fair hand, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, daily referendums, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 25.076 billion Tsifyrettopians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Social Policy, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Trobridge. The average income tax rate is 96.6%.

The all-consuming Tsifyrettopian economy, worth a remarkable 3,144 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 125,413 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation has learned that pulling out is messy, elementary school children develop thousand-yard stares, the government airlifts sacrificial lambs, and a positive GPA is all it takes to get an elite education. Crime is totally unknown. Tsifyrettop's national animal is the pig, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Tsifyrettop is ranked 2,990^th in the world and 1^st in Arkonos for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 10,371.89 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.