The Retired Player of Troy Tulowitzki is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Troy Tulowitzki with an even hand, and notable for its prohibition of alcohol, ubiquitous missile silos, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 10.939 billion Troy Tulowitzkians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Colorado. The average income tax rate is 52.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Troy Tulowitzkian economy, worth a remarkable 1,437 trillion Yen a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 131,448 Yen, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The government has declared that sharing is uncaring, Troy Tulowitzki is too busy listening to praise to get any work done, washing-up liquid looks and smells like baby poo, and devotion to God is only skin-deep. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Troy Tulowitzki's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Troy Tulowitzki is ranked 238,017^th in the world and 5,936^th in the Rejected Realms for Safest, scoring 19.19 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.