The Locomotive of Train is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Casey Jones with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, pith helmet sales, and state-planned economy. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 10.659 billion engineers, 10.142 billion of whom are zombies, are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the City of New Orleans. The average income tax rate is 71.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient railway economy, worth a remarkable 5,023 trillion couplers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 156,801 couplers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Children are told they have to do well in school if they want to live, overly distant dads are conscripted into national nappy service, government officials have to mortgage their homes to make ends meet, and tourists buying prepaid smartphones are arrested for smuggling. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Train's national animal is the iron horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Unstoppable.

Train is ranked 149,975^th in the world and 26^th in Seinfeld for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 108.64 on the Clooney Contribution Index.