The Watchfires of Tou-1 is a titanic, orderly nation, remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, pith helmet sales, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 21.616 billion Tou-1ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 65.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Tou-1ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,743 trillion $$s a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 80,675 $$s, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The cold war against capitalism is growing chillier by the day, libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars, signs of extraterrestrial life are just foreign astronauts evading Tou-1ian justice, and parents tell their children 'what a lovely mistake you turned out to be'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tou-1's national animal is the Death's-head hawkmoth, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Tou-1 is ranked 272,414^th in the world and 1^st in Toulon for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 25.96 on the Bus Surprisal Index.