The Empire of Top Blokes is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Jeremy Clarkson with an iron fist, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, strictly enforced bedtime, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 9.185 billion Top Blokes are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Law & Order also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of May-tropolis. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 70.9%.

The all-consuming Top Blokesian economy, worth a remarkable 2,002 trillion Clarksons a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an amazing 218,047 Clarksons, with the richest citizens earning 9.5 times as much as the poorest.

Veterans' meet-ups involve a lot of tail sniffing, the military invades any neighboring nation with the gall to criticize its policies, newborns are being raised as mindless killing machines, and the military is recruiting war criminals to join its weapons research teams. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Top Blokes's national animal is the Hammond, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Top Blokes is ranked 7,015^th in the world and 195^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Corrupt Governments, with 187.82 kickbacks per hour.