The Alpenrepublik of Tirol is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Premier Sami Pescosta with a fair hand, and remarkable for its ban on automobiles, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.818 billion Tiroleans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Welfare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Innsbruck. The average income tax rate is 71.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Tirolean economy, worth 201 trillion Schillings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Cheese Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 52,683 Schillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The legalization of meat has skewered the sales of vegetarian substitutes, endangered bison are herded across the border to prevent them from trampling on native prairie grass, umbrellas are back in fashion, and undersea volcanoes receive strongly worded letters for violating environmental regulations. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Tirol's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Tirol is ranked 75,465^th in the world and 164^th in The League for Lowest Crime Rates, with 69.23 law-abiding acts per hour.