The Holy King-ruled Kinger of Tilonian is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Kinger with an iron fist, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, unlimited-speed roads, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 8.263 billion Kingers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Pillow Fort. The average income tax rate is 94.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Kinger economy, worth a remarkable 2,142 trillion Insect Collections a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, Retail, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 259,326 Insect Collections, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Former slaves find themselves being herded onto ships once more, opening doors for ladies is never seen as misogynistic, voters are one of the nation's top imports, and politicians bribe ten-year-old geniuses to sit their aptitude tests. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tilonian's national animal is the Insect, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Insect Collecting.

Tilonian is ranked 307,013^th in the world and 746^th in Saint Osmund for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 22.49 on the Bus Surprisal Index.