The Armed Republic of Thornid is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by High Praetor Io with a fair hand, and renowned for its smutty television, ubiquitous missile silos, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 15.456 billion Thornidians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education, Administration, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Phenac City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Thornidian economy, worth a remarkable 2,944 trillion Urists a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 190,532 Urists, with the richest citizens earning 6.0 times as much as the poorest.

Being sent to collections is more dangerous than ever, the country behaves just like a group of independent provinces all stacked up under a trench coat, the government has pinkie-promised never to use its veto power except in an emergency, and the Museum of Blackacrean War Crimes is located on "Blackacre Did Nothing Wrong Avenue". Crime is totally unknown. Thornid's national animal is the Roadrunner, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Thornid is ranked 289,521^st in the world and 3^rd in Poenas for Most Corrupt Governments, with 0.33 kickbacks per hour.