The Colony of Thorn94 is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its enslaved workforce, zero percent divorce rate, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 4.636 billion Thorn94ians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 68.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Thorn94ian economy, worth 597 trillion Monies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 128,858 Monies, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Whipping posts and lashes have been transferred to the Historical Museum of Thorn94ian Embarrassments, Thorn94ians suffer not the eggplant emoji to live, the Lion is protected from hunting and slowly coming back from the brink of extinction, and seven-year-olds debate for weeks on the merits of the Oxford comma. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thorn94's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Thorn94 is ranked 39,250^th in the world and 975^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 5,291.87 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.