The Republic of Thorn2012 is a massive, efficient nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, ubiquitous missile silos, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 4.629 billion Thorn2012ians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 74.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Thorn2012ian economy, worth 525 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 113,503 dollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 344,630 per year while the poor average 29,050, a ratio of 11.9 to 1.

Families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain, weather forecasts are accurate but nobody has the bandwidth to view them, the nation's police officers are famously miserable-looking, and the might of the entire Thorn2012ian Navy is focused on fifty bemused spear-throwing islanders. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thorn2012's national animal is the falcon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Thorn2012 is ranked 243,873^rd in the world and 8,324^th in Suspicious for Most Primitive, scoring -134.27 on the Scary Big Number Scale.