The Republic of Thorn199 is a mammoth, orderly nation, renowned for its closed borders, parental licensing program, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.334 billion Thorn199ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Thorn199ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,248 trillion bitcoins a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Cheese Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 149,777 bitcoins, with the richest citizens earning 7.6 times as much as the poorest.

Elderly prisoners with severe dementia are reminded hourly that they are evil people by helpful nurse-wardens, unpopular cops are fired at a moment's notice by the citizens they police, pulling weeds is seen as a threat to national security, and the government seizes corporate assets it deems 'scary enough'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thorn199's national animal is the parrot, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Thorn199 is ranked 299,751^st in the world and 3^rd in Ascensionsen for Nicest Citizens, with 0.45 average smiles per day.