The Dictatorship of Thontopia is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Thon The All Knowing with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, compulsory vegetarianism, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 21.72 billion Thontopians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order and Spirituality are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lua. The average income tax rate is 98.5%.

The powerhouse Thontopian economy, worth a remarkable 5,903 trillion Thonbucks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 271,777 Thonbucks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

It isn't wise to fall out with Thontopia, escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky, the monarchy claims the time the rooftop swimming pool overflowed was their wealth trickling down, and pulling weeds is seen as a threat to national security. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thontopia's national animal is the Eidolon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is the Knights of Thon.

Thontopia is ranked 331,144^th in the world and 5^th in The Thonlands for Nicest Citizens, with 0.11 average smiles per day.