The Republic of Thing 8 is a massive, orderly nation, notable for its teetotalling pirates, prohibition of alcohol, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 2.444 billion Thing 8ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 51.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Thing 8ian economy, worth 154 trillion coins a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 63,160 coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Allergy-sufferers must wear gas masks before venturing outdoors, escalators are avoided at all costs, hospitals fear government fines more than terrorist ransoms, and corruption is a game of two halves. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thing 8's national animal is the kiwi, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Thing 8 is ranked 121,603^rd in the world and 24^th in Distorted Memories for Largest Black Market, with 1.75 trillion Standard Monetary Units.