The Protectorate of The Witcher is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its enslaved workforce, national health service, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.84 billion Witcherians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 55.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Witcherian economy, worth 288 trillion złoties a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 101,625 złoties, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 405,493 per year while the poor average 17,134, a ratio of 23.7 to 1.

Many parents are becoming frustrated with their children's choices in spouses, the same 2840 social media bloggers always loudly and immediately agree with Leader's every word on Twitcher, commuters travel in zigzags to avoid stalking accusations, and newspapers may not print any negative stories about the government. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Witcher's national animal is the wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Witcher is ranked 302,045^th in the world and 34^th in Poland for Nicest Citizens, with 0.98 average smiles per day.