The Big Red Friendly Button of The Soft-Spoken ICBM is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Vasily Arkhipov and Stanislav Petrov with a fair hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 2.569 billion ICBMians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nuclear Bombardment Shelter 34G. The average income tax rate is 78.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Soft-Spoken ICBMian economy, worth 264 trillion Gilbert U-238s a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 103,021 Gilbert U-238s, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Surprising numbers of poor people are protesting against taxing the rich, bins outnumber trees in city parks, anti-vacs campaigners claim the government is inserting weird devices into their bodies, and men are finding 'she spots' more easily but they can't use them. Crime is totally unknown. The Soft-Spoken ICBM's national animal is the Radioactive Exploding Zombie Cow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Agnosticism.

The Soft-Spoken ICBM is ranked 287,944^th in the world and 8^th in Messengers of Annihilation for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -19.9 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.