The Republic of The Quickster is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by The Chief with an even hand, and notable for its frequent executions, compulsory military service, and irreverence towards religion. The democratic population of 6.35 billion Quicksterians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Welfare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bikini Bottom. The average income tax rate is 44.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Quicksterian economy, worth 303 trillion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 47,814 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Dubiously qualified Skandilundian barristers keep referring to laws as 'government guidelines', public footpaths are being slowly eroded by the burgeoning number of ramblers, warfare increasingly resembles a video game, and abortions are routinely performed in the nation's hospitals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Quickster's national animal is the Oyster and its national religion is Justice.

The Quickster is ranked 129,318^th in the world and 1^st in Barbados for Largest Governments, scoring 13.75 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.