The Matriarchy of The Pole Dancers is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Anastasia Sokolova with a fair hand, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, suspicion of poets, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 8.33 billion Pole Dancersians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of An Elevated Stage. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 21.2%.

The powerhouse Pole Dancersian economy, worth 688 trillion Knee Pads a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Retail. Average income is 82,696 Knee Pads, with the richest citizens earning 9.0 times as much as the poorest.

Feuding neighbours measure each other's lawns with a ruler to check for infringements, citizens gather eagerly to witness exotic animals being blasted out of cannons, An Elevated Stage spends billions upgrading public transport, and the weather in An Elevated Stage is always 'pigeons with a chance of droppings'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. The Pole Dancers's national animal is the Boa, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Lasciviousness.

The Pole Dancers is ranked 263,890^th in the world and 15^th in Coven of Witches for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 38.75 on the Kitten Softness Rating.