The Empire of The people of schlusselvile is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Yschlu with an even hand, and notable for its public floggings, anti-smoking policies, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, devout population of 11.641 billion people of schlusselvileans are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jerusalem. The average income tax rate is 76.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming people of schlusselvilean economy, worth 893 trillion Shekels a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 76,791 Shekels, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Odysseying merchant sailors swear that they've heard sirens in the western seas, construction workers evacuate work sites after finding sharp rocks on the ground, many politicians are in rehab for minor drug offenses, and military pilots spend more time scraping feathers off their engines than flying their aircraft. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The people of schlusselvile's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The people of schlusselvile is ranked 22,337^th in the world and 26^th in The United Federations for Highest Food Quality, scoring 109.65 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.