The Confederacy of The Kirkinator is a very large, efficient nation, remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, avowedly heterosexual populace, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, devout population of 309 million Kirkinatorians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and look forward to their next free and open election, to be held on an as-yet unannounced date.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of District of Kirklumbia. The average income tax rate is 55.2%.

The very strong Kirkinatorian economy, worth 19.4 trillion Kirks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Uranium Mining, Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 62,774 Kirks, with the richest citizens earning 5.3 times as much as the poorest.

Sociologists ponder how baby-napped ethnic minority 'runaways' could have gone so bad so soon, boys who even ask about cheerleading are placed on the Sex Offenders Register, raindances intended to summon storms instead attract tourists, and the nation's once beautiful countryside has turned brown as farmers spray potent pesticides. Crime is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. The Kirkinator's national animal is the Charles James Kirk, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

The Kirkinator is ranked 255,532^nd in the world and 491^st in The UMNS for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring zero on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.