The Holy Empire of The Hemenopia is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Ernest Hemingway with an even hand, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, compulsory military service, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 19.769 billion Hemenopians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, corrupt government prioritizes Administration, although Industry, Law & Order, and Defense are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hemingway. The average income tax rate is 92.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Hemenopian economy, worth a remarkable 5,173 trillion pesos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Woodchip Exports, Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 261,700 pesos, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens ask "how many crooks could a nunchuck hook if a nun had nunchucks too?", the standard prescription for infertility-causing conditions is "go have a baby", the police ransack more houses than criminals do, and The Hemenopia's citizens often wander into each other's homes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Hemenopia's national animal is the falcon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Written Word.

The Hemenopia is ranked 290,497^th in the world and 9^th in The Great Universe for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 24.2 on the Bus Surprisal Index.