The Kaisereisch of The Gula is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Kaiser Amir Le-Evans with an iron fist, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, absence of drug laws, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 8.153 billion Gulens are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shefholden. The average income tax rate is 84.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Gulenisee economy, worth a remarkable 1,250 trillion Rounds a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 153,362 Rounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

East Lebatuckese luxury goods are plundered by the working class of The Gula, the nation's space program is doxxing the planet, Shefholden has restaurants serving every meat from aardvark to zebra, and a certain animated paperclip is enjoying his sunset years at the government's expense. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Gula's national animal is the Brown Dolen Hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is The Church of the Forsaken Demiurge.

The Gula is ranked 228,546^th in the world and 3^rd in Bastion for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -2 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.