The Republic of The Crab Ports is a colossal, safe nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape. The quiet, industrious population of 4.156 billion Crab Portsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 22.1%.

The Crab Portsian economy, worth 163 trillion rubles a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Basket Weaving, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 39,457 rubles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens are barcoded to keep track of their movements, the mining industry is making inroads into environmentally sensitive areas, the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, and female brains are believed to heat up dangerously when 'overclocked'. Crime is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Crab Ports's national animal is the parrot, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

The Crab Ports is ranked 78,586^th in the world and 2^nd in The Crab Port for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 2,934.98 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.