The Incorporated States of The Conrads is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Chief Executive Officer 04 with an even hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, frequent executions, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 1.645 billion Conrads are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Conrad Corp HQ. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Conrad economy, worth 295 trillion Crytens a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Soda Sales, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 179,361 Crytens, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,629,851 per year while the poor average 2,267, a ratio of 718 to 1.

The five second rule has been amended to the five minute rule, we all come from the sea, a video of Chief Executive Officer 04 wearing shock-blue face paint and smashing an electric guitar in front of a frenzied crowd is on endless repeat on the nightly news, and college-level writing classes are taught by undergraduate editors of the school newspaper. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. The Conrads's national animal is the Horned Lizard, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Profit.

The Conrads is ranked 1,949^th in the world and 1^st in Confederation of Arcanial Nations for Rudest Citizens, with 291.73 insults per minute.