The Republic of The Columbus Blue Jackets is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its ban on automobiles, ubiquitous missile silos, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 11.409 billion Columbus Blue Jacketsians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 47.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Columbus Blue Jacketsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,584 trillion bitcoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 138,871 bitcoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Gay hospital patients are labelled with a pink triangle to alert staff of their substandard blood, parents must choose their children's names from a government-mandated master list, children who display even minimal sporting aptitude are immediately assigned a personal trainer, and seasonal hay-fever sufferers are attending government drug counselling sessions to get free doughnuts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Columbus Blue Jackets's national animal is the parrot, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

The Columbus Blue Jackets is ranked 26,371^st in the world and 1,593^rd in Osiris for Most Corrupt Governments, with 81.01 kickbacks per hour.