The Democratic Republic of The Black Keys is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, keen interest in outer space, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless, devout population of 4.965 billion Black Keysians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Akron. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 35.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Black Keysian economy, worth 466 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Pizza Delivery, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 93,938 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Social networking companies are at the mercy of government bureaucracy, urban planners beg for just one more lane before bedtime, producers insist that movie stars wear crash helmets in every scene, and government adverts say that twelve lashes a day keeps divine wrath at bay. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Black Keys's national animal is the wallaby, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

The Black Keys is ranked 185,481^st in the world and 5^th in Ohio for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 684.95 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.