The Theocratic Union of The Alpine Federation is a mammoth, efficient nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, absence of drug laws, and suspicion of poets. The hard-working, democratic population of 8.37 billion Alpines live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The medium-sized, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Searsport. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 17.3%.

The very strong Alpine economy, worth 426 trillion kaldebts a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Soda Sales, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Average income is 50,982 kaldebts, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 346,615 per year while the poor average 2,739, a ratio of 126 to 1.

Punitive tariffs protect local industry, mining is the nation's most dangerous occupation, surrealist houses shaped like mushrooms and volcanoes dominate the wealthiest neighborhoods, and organ donation rates are among the lowest in the region. Crime is a serious problem. The Alpine Federation's national animal is the elk, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is The Alpine Federation Faith.

The Alpine Federation is ranked 148,358^th in the world and 2^nd in Ivory Tower for Largest Information Technology Sector, scoring 3,281.76 on the Fann-Boi Productivity Index.