The Eternal Democratic Republic of Tetoslavya is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Kasane Teto with an iron fist, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, pith helmet sales, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 2.114 billion Tetoslavyans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Administration, and Education are also considered important, while Welfare and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Chimera. The average income tax rate is 90.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tetoslavyan economy, worth 446 trillion Tetowons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 211,096 Tetowons, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The fate of the world literally rests on Kasane Teto's fingers, officer recruitment and police brutality have reached an all-time high, those awarding peace prizes to Tetoslavyans find themselves in pieces, and foreign lack of enthusiasm for Tetoslavyan nose-flute disco metal is seen as a reasonable casus belli. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tetoslavya's national animal is the Pearto, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Tetoslavya is ranked 329,005^th in the world and 80^th in Lone Wolves United for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 10.07 on the Kitten Softness Rating.