The Free Land of Telperion is a mammoth, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, otherworldly petting zoo, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 8.894 billion Telperionians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Welfare, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 13.8%.

The strong Telperionian economy, worth 543 trillion Silvers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is 61,130 Silvers, with the richest citizens earning 9.3 times as much as the poorest.

Washing-up liquid looks and smells like baby poo, Leader reduces citizens' commute times by giving away their homes, a fashion designer has been arrested for inciting hatred after claiming redheads couldn't pull off vermillion, and most believe it doesn't hurt to embrace free trade. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control. Telperion's national animal is the Dew, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Telperion is ranked 221,500^th in the world and 23^rd in Valandor for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 30.04 on the Bus Surprisal Index.