The United States of Teapeneion is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Vladimir Marx Engels Lenin with an even hand, and remarkable for its digital currency, absence of drug laws, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate population of 12.493 billion Teapeneionians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Leningrad. The average income tax rate is 95.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Teapeneionian economy, worth a remarkable 1,592 trillion New Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 127,465 New Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The threat of economic apocalypse brings out the best in people, the government is spending serious cheddar protecting sewer rats, the government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene, and the holidays begin with the traditional exchanging of aspirin. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Teapeneion's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Teapeneion is ranked 9,035^th in the world and 2^nd in The Apolean Frontiers for Smartest Citizens, with 99.26 quips per hour.