The Most Serene Republic of Szlachecka is a massive, efficient nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 4.098 billion Szlacheckans are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.2%.

The thriving Szlacheckan economy, worth 306 trillion ducats a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 74,762 ducats, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 264,636 per year while the poor average 15,250, a ratio of 17.4 to 1.

Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Szlachecka's national animal is the horse, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Szlachecka is ranked 117,692^nd in the world and 63^rd in Arkonos for Smartest Citizens, with 30.95 quips per hour.