The Republic of Suommuliland is a mammoth, orderly nation, notable for its frequent executions, ritual sacrifices, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 7.806 billion Suommulilandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 60.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Suommulilandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,004 trillion florins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 128,745 florins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A positive GPA is all it takes to get an elite education, the working classes live and die on the fields of the farming communes, the nation's skies are now a wasteland, and pallbearers at military funerals dive for cover when they hear the three-volley salute. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Suommuliland's national animal is the beaver, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Suommuliland is ranked 37,541^st in the world and 22^nd in Suspicious for Lowest Crime Rates, with 83.55 law-abiding acts per hour.