The Alpenlicht of Stallehr is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its frequent executions, ubiquitous missile silos, and avant-garde cinema. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.706 billion Stallehrians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 72.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Stallehrian economy, worth 622 trillion Euros a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 132,371 Euros, with the richest citizens earning 7.7 times as much as the poorest.

Stallehrian police have to pay out of their own pockets for bulletproof vests, Stallehr's fine wines are renowned throughout the region, a weakened police force struggles to maintain law and order, and the nation's children are known for being even more apathetic and cynical than their parents. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Stallehr's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Stallehr is ranked 170,414^th in the world and 39^th in Alpenwelt for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 529.98 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.