The Socialist Republic of Staglieno is a colossal, safe nation, notable for its disturbing lack of elderly people, state-planned economy, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed population of 3.163 billion Staglienians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social and economic equality; they tend to view other countries as corrupted by the hollow pageantry of sham elections.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Healthcare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bisagno City. The average income tax rate is 72.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Staglienian economy, worth 48.7 trillion genoan lires a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Pizza Delivery, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 15,392 genoan lires, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government-run newspapers insist that everything is fine, even snitches get stitches, citizens brought into court for parking violations are never heard from again, and Staglienians have replaced bears in a popular idiom. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Staglieno's national animal is the Grifon, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Staglieno is ranked 299,360^th in the world and 3^rd in Sodas Haven for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -11.82 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.