The Messenger of Square News is a massive, socially progressive nation, renowned for its irreverence towards religion. The hard-working, democratic population of 2.015 billion Square News hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The tiny, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Novifindi. The average income tax rate is 8.7%.

The Square News economy, worth 89.0 trillion Squarelandian dollars a year, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Pizza Delivery, and Retail. Average income is 44,171 Squarelandian dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

A large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway, the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, the government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles, and Square News has designated Novifindi as its capital city. Crime is moderate, probably because of the absence of a police force. Square News's national animal is the square.

Square News is ranked 146,787^th in the world and 1^st in Squareworld for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 32.78 on the Bus Surprisal Index.