The Gorillaz of Slow Country is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its compulsory military service, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.783 billion Slow Countryians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 62.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Slow Countryian economy, worth 909 trillion gorillazzes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 134,078 gorillazzes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Voting is voluntary, frightened witnesses and seriously ill jurors wear the same handcuffs as the defendant, the Communist Party claims that selling things for profit isn't necessarily capitalism, and foreign leaders are advising that Leader's letters must have gotten lost in the mail. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Slow Country's national animal is the gorilla, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Slow Country is ranked 61,510^th in the world and 295^th in Stereo Hearts for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 3,574.62 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.