The Slithereen Guard of Slardar is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, ritual sacrifices, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.239 billion Slardarians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 72.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Slardarian economy, worth a remarkable 1,023 trillion bronze nickels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 195,277 bronze nickels, with the richest citizens earning 6.7 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians sweat as journalists scour internet archives for any mention of them, there's nothing more Slardarian than revanchism, the most sacred right is the right to ignore the rights of slaves, and libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Slardar's national animal is the rockwarbler, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Slardar is ranked 16,699^th in the world and 179^th in Aetherius for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring 8,912.08 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.