The Republic of Sjoronlander is a colossal, safe nation, remarkable for its digital currency, enslaved workforce, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 9.362 billion Sjoronlanderians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 77.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Sjoronlanderian economy, worth 947 trillion lire a year, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Cheese Exports, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 101,172 lire, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 406,919 per year while the poor average 16,834, a ratio of 24.2 to 1.

Candlelit dinners are less romantic with a flickering LED, builders across Sjoronlander are blocked up with orders for new public loos, Leader's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, and Moby Dick can only be sold by pornographers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sjoronlander's national animal is the unicorn, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Sjoronlander is ranked 269,748^th in the world and 44^th in racoda for Most Primitive, scoring -236.92 on the Scary Big Number Scale.