The Scrutinies of Simon Iff is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by the Old Man of the Mountain with a fair hand, and notable for its absence of drug laws, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The democratic population of 28.457 billion Hashashins love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, socially-minded government prioritizes Welfare, although Public Transport, Education, and Healthcare are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mega City One. The average income tax rate is 75.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but stagnant Hashashin economy, worth 428 trillion Eyes of Horus a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Uranium Mining, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 15,072 Eyes of Horus, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The tawdry celebrity gossip section has moved to the front page of most newspapers, it is impossible to get any work done as auditors swarm every inch of government factories and mines, marine biology students are shocked to discover that a whale is a mammal, and surveillance cameras are banned. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Simon Iff's national animal is the Moonchild, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Simon Iff is ranked 81,387^th in the world and 4^th in The Trumpenreich for Most Cultured, scoring 67 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.