The Republican City-State of Siestan Commonwealth is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Herman Doykos with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape and irreverence towards religion. The hard-working, cynical population of 1.408 billion Siestan Commonwealthians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The medium-sized, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, although Defense, Healthcare, and Administration are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Siesta. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 29.7%.

The strong Siestan Commonwealthian economy, worth 64.5 trillion Columbian dollars a year, is led by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Soda Sales, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 45,830 Columbian dollars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 176,208 per year while the poor average 8,208, a ratio of 21.5 to 1.

Some of the country's most famous photographers are animals, military pilots spend more time scraping feathers off their engines than flying their aircraft, teachers prefer to give 'Maybe, Maybe Not' tests when dealing with sensitive subjects, and rumor has it that Herman Doykos has won three lotteries in a row. Crime is relatively low, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Siestan Commonwealth's national animal is the Varies, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Siestan Commonwealth is ranked 90,468^th in the world and 5^th in Siesta for Nicest Citizens, with 15.09 average smiles per day.