The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 171 is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Noah with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, free-roaming dinosaurs, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.654 billion Second Best Puppet 171ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 91.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 171ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,283 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 192,940 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

For just a few extra cards Second Best Puppet 171ians can get new driving records with their new cars, the banshee wail foretells skies of death, recruitment posters proclaim the army to be both fabulous and fashionable, and workers have their fruitcake and eat it too. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 171's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Puppet 171 is ranked 275,035^th in the world and 2,593^rd in Two for Most Primitive, scoring -276.41 on the Scary Big Number Scale.