The Grand Duchy of Schwarzeflagge is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Grand Duke with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, national health service, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 24.229 billion Schwarzeflaggeans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Schwarzestadt. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 21.9%.

The strong Schwarzeflaggean economy, worth a remarkable 2,061 trillion Thalers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 85,089 Thalers, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 301,188 per year while the poor average 17,356, a ratio of 17.4 to 1.

Defense lawyers often argue there's no proof murder victims weren't vampires, innocent defendants often plead guilty for fear of receiving a much harsher sentence before jury, there is a thriving underground gay scene, and the government's stance on marriage is 'Let Schwarzeflaggeans marry themselves'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schwarzeflagge's national animal is the Ostrich, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Schwarzeflagge is ranked 136,625^th in the world and 2^nd in The Islay Coast for Most Patriotic, with 11.39 flags saluted per person per day.