The Absolute Fascistic Monarchy of Ptolemaicia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by King Logan XIV with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory vegetarianism, complete lack of prisons, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 12.017 billion Kemetics are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Khemenu. The average income tax rate is 99.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Ptolemaician economy, worth a remarkable 6,489 trillion Dedun Nebuns a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 540,014 Dedun Nebuns, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol, nuclear physics is the most popular course at university, the mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying, and Jack Russells have proven to be terrible spies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ptolemaicia's national animal is the Djehuty Ibis, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kemeticism.

Ptolemaicia is ranked 293,236^th in the world and 7,226^th in the Rejected Realms for Nicest Citizens, with 0.11 average smiles per day.