The Optimistic Republic of Ptarmigans is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by The Great Pumpkin with an even hand, and renowned for its digital currency, irreverence towards religion, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 39.274 billion Ptarmigans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Education, although Industry, Environment, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ptarmtown. The average income tax rate is 1.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Ptarmigansian economy, worth a remarkable 7,761 trillion tootoos a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 197,624 tootoos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

Surrogate mothers are encouraged to refer to their wombs as 'rental space', students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas, a byzantine web of conspiracies and secret alliances must be navigated any time legislation is voted upon, and parents giddily refuse to pay their toddlers' medical bills. Crime is totally unknown. Ptarmigans's national animal is the wombat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is theoteleomorphism.

Ptarmigans is ranked 28,861^st in the world and 1^st in Westingforia for Lowest Crime Rates, with 83.4 law-abiding acts per hour.