The Holy Empire of Primitivos is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Bichão seco das cavernas with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 1 billion Primitivos enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cavernas limpinhas. The average income tax rate is 70.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Primitivista economy, worth 121 trillion Coroa Sacras a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 121,451 Coroa Sacras, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

CEOs and corporate executives are frequently found striking for better stock options, residents of houses built on a foundation of wishful thinking are prone to an odd sinking feeling, people often feel unbalanced by their daily commute, and foreign casinos have trouble paying fans who bet on the triumph of the Cavernas Limpinhas Galão De Londreses against long odds. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Primitivos's national animal is the Galão de Londres, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Primitivos is ranked 17,477^th in the world and 10^th in Union Brazilian for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 3,643.41 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.