The Empire of Potatonesses is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Baked Potato with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, rum-swilling pirates, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 2.902 billion Potatoes are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Defense, Education, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Field of Potatoes. The average income tax rate is 62.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Potato economy, worth 110 trillion fries a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is dominated by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 38,097 fries, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Where there's a will there is usually a password manager, exceptionally talented workers are praised more than Revolutionary heroes, adults have never outgrown their fear of monsters, and psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Baked Potato to meetings with foreign heads of state. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Potatonesses's national animal is the Couch Potato, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Potatoist.

Potatonesses is ranked 56,083^rd in the world and 7^th in Burge Classroom for Lowest Crime Rates, with 76.71 law-abiding acts per hour.