The Bloody Fig Monarchy of Placekeeper1 is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Rod Wienie with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory vegetarianism, pith helmet sales, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 6.36 billion Placekeeper1ians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Place. The average income tax rate is 69.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Placekeeper1ian economy, worth 299 trillion Axixican Pesos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Cheese Exports, Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 47,025 Axixican Pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar has been banned for advocating gluttony, parents must choose their children's names from a government-mandated master list, fur coats have become the latest fashion trend, and the government has cut its subsidies for all special interest groups. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Placekeeper1's national animal is the Burro, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Mammon Worshippers.

Placekeeper1 is ranked 75,900^th in the world and 82^nd in The Regected Realns for Lowest Crime Rates, with 69.16 law-abiding acts per hour.